Bob's Privacy Policy

Listen dudes, I hate fucking Spammers as much as you do. They should burn in hell next to the kiddie fiddlers, rapists and other general cunts. I ain't gonna spam ya. Why would I? Here's all the legal shit but you have my word - No spam. No bullshit.

The main purpose of this Privacy Policy is to demonstrate my commitment to protecting your personal, confidential information.

It is designed to inform you about this Web site's current data collection practices and the use of your personal information. You can access it from every page on this Web site by clicking on the "Privacy/Security" link at the top of the page.

Strict Policy Not To Rent Or Sell Information, Or Spam You. I do not rent, sell, or otherwise disclose any of your personal information, or my mailing lists, to third parties. In addition, I will not spam you. I only send e-mail and postal mail to those who have elected to receive it from me. This Web site and my company practice a strict anti-spamming policy and comply with all the provisions of the CANN-Spam Act. I will not give any information about you to others without your express permission.

I may elect to use a credit card processing company to bill users for goods and services. Should I do so, I will require that that company not retain, share, store, or use any of your personally identifiable information for any secondary purposes.

Safeguarding Confidential Personal Information
I am committed to protecting your confidential personal information. My policies limit all access to personal information that I collect only to personnel who need the information to fulfill their responsibilities. I require all personnel to adhere to this company’s strict Privacy Policy. Any personnel who violate this Privacy Policy will be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including dismissal and a fucking good kicking - OK, that ain't legal but it's gonna happen.

I use appropriate security safeguards because security is of utmost importance to me. Any security measures I employ, such as advanced technology, are intended to protect personal information that I collect against, (i) unauthorised access, (ii) disclosure, (iii) alteration or (iv) destruction. These measures may include, among others, encryption, physical access security and other appropriate technologies. I continually review and enhance my security systems, as necessary.

When I obtain personal information as part of my direct relationship with you, I will not share this information with nonaffiliated third parties, except: (i) in accordance with this Privacy Policy; (ii) to facilitate and complete merchant-initiated or authorized transactions; (iii) to combat fraud; or (iv) to comply with federal, state and local laws, including credit reporting laws and card association rules.

Information I Collect
The only information I collect about you is information that you provide directly to me through this Web site. This information includes your first and last name and e-mail address. In the future, I may also request a mailing address and/or telephone number. When I collect personal information directly from you, I do so to provide you with my goods or services, to provide customer service and to fulfill any legal or regulatory requirements.

I currently obtain personal information through the feature that allows me to email you my prices. I use a highly secure "form-mail" feature through which you provide the information described above. In addition, when you send me an e-mail, I automatically receive your e-mail address in that manner. I do not otherwise collect information of any sort that is used for the purposes described herein. I do not currently obtain information about consumers and merchants from third parties. Should I elect to do so in the future, I will only use sources I believe to be reputable.

When I have a direct customer relationship with you, I may provide information to you about the general uses of the information I collect. This information is made available at the point of sale, or through this privacy policy. I may also make it available in other formats that are publicly available or through other means specified by applicable state and federal laws.

Legitimate Disclosure Or Use Of Information
For purposes of credit reporting or processing, verification, risk management, fraud detection and completing any business transactions on this Web site, I may share information about you only with third parties who are responsible for carrying out those functions.

I may also disclose information when required by law, or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary in order to conform to the edicts of the law. For example, I may disclose information in response to an official request or court order issued by a court, government agency or regulatory authority.

I use information gathered about you from our site statistics (for example your IP address) to help diagnose problems with, and to administer this Web site. I also gather broad demographic information from this data to help me improve this Web site and make your browsing and purchasing experience more enjoyable. This is not linked to any personally identifiable information.

If you provide me with your personal information and request information from me, I will contact you to provide you with the information you requested. I may also contact you to follow up on your inquiries relating to my services and products, or I may send you other information about my company and its products, services, or special offers that I believe you will find interesting, helpful, or valuable. Most of my customers appreciate hearing about new products and services and prefer that I continue to contact them.

How To Opt Out Of Receiving Information
If you would rather not receive notices or information from me through e-mail or postal mail, or if you have any questions or concerns, you can opt-out of receiving them, or express your concerns, by emailing me at finger.bob("at")fingeringtips.co.uk

General Considerations
I use e-mails to communicate with you, to confirm your placed orders, and to send information that you have requested. My policy is to reply to your email messages within one business day from receipt of your request - unless I am lying drunk under some whore, but I'll get back to you soon anyhows.

As you visit my various Web pages, please be sure to continue to review my Privacy Policy. I abide by applicable laws relating to such information.

This Privacy Policy applies to you as well. The examples contained in this Privacy Policy are illustrations only, and they are not intended to be all-inclusive. If you decide to close your account with me, or become an inactive customer, or if I should close or otherwise suspend your privileges on this Web site, this Privacy Policy, as it may exist from time to time, will continue to apply.

You may have other privacy protections under country and state laws, and I will comply with applicable state laws if and when I am required to disclose information about you. This Privacy Policy applies to all accounts you may have with me, and it replaces all our previous disclosures to you about my information practices. This Privacy Policy currently applies only to our United States customers and Web site visitors. Cross-border transactions may involve different or additional rules and practices.

Should you have any questions or concern about this Privacy Policy, please email me.

Finger Bob

Fuck me, I am glad I am not a lawyer, imagine writing shit like that all day. I need a beer and some pussy.